A Full Margin

In and Outs

2009-09-27T00:15:00.002-04:00

I've been busy this week, despite having a somewhat unexpectedly small draw on my by my classes. Met with Job and Family Services - which is always a bit of an emotional drain despite the fact that I actually like our case worker and have always been treated with dignity at the local agency.

Of course, the big news was Tay's IEP review on Friday. It went... well, about as good as I expected for the most part. We reviewed his goals and agreed that the focus should be moved from the educational goals (which he has already met) to focusing on communication and peer social skills. Found out that his previous preschool teacher had said he was achieving his goal of expressing interest in activities 3/4 times without any prompting - but neglected to tell me that sometimes he was "achieving" this by grabbing at both offered items. Which he has always done. The new teacher is MUCH more interested in working on his social skills with peers (whom still do not seem to exist in his world) and getting to him communicate in some fashion.

To that end, I am going to try to bring in a somewhat modified version of PECS and see if it works any better than our 50/50 for sign language. At this point he has about 15 words he will use spontaneously that are not random echoic scripting, colors, shapes, or numbers. And about another 20 that he will use situational (he will say "Drink or Milk" when he is thirsty and we are not responding when he forces his cup into our hand and gives his indignant sigh, also will sometimes request his favorite TV shows "watch Gabba" or "watch Thomas" - and as an aside I'm noticing a really strange trend among autistic kids to get into Thomas? Is it the facial expressions? Taylor loves it, but always goes into a fit when the trains are in peril). I figure if I just start with BASIC needs we can work up from there.

Of course, I'm still gonna stick to the wonderful speech therapy technique of keeping a running narrative, name everything, I'm talking so much that even I'm sick of hearing my own voice. But, it is helping. I don't doubt that it is helping.

Cam is doing amazingly, he is just starting to bubble with language and seems to be moving non stop. He's adjusting very well to not having the chance to chase Tay all day while he's at school (6 hours 4 days a week isn't too bad of a break) and has just taken to driving his dad nuts.

Part of me is starting to feel a little guilty for the fact that I'm splitting up our family, and if I can say nothing else good of him (which isn't the case) Bob is great with the boys and does genuinely love them. He and I both know that it is best in the long run, but it's still hard to let go of that feeling of family. Bah, enough of my rambling. Good week!

Frustration

2009-09-11T23:54:00.003-04:00

I have good days and bad days - today I get the sinking (and yes, completely untrue) feeling I'm completely alone in this universe when it comes with my particular approach to parenting. Specifically, when it comes to dealing with Taylor's autism.

I posted a small, not particularly earth shattering question on a somewhat active local group and got inundated with assumptions that CLEARLY because my son has autism I am anti-vax and hooked on GC/GF. Suffice to say, when I responded (publicly - apparently a bad move) that I believe I made the right choice in vaccinating both of my children (and do not personally believe vaccinations "caused" his autism) and have been told by not only his developmental pediatrician but also a nutritionist that for my child the GC/GF diet would not only be a struggle in futility until either I caved or put him in the hospital - it is not a nutritionally sound or recommended diet for him.

I have to tell you, I was literally in tears dealing with one email after another about how I was killing my son by not having the mercury removed from his body or not listening to his gut and restricting his diet (you know, the all chicken nugget/cheese/pizza rolls and everything else makes me force myself to vomit diet). Maybe I'm just not good dealing with peer pressure, but I won't say that for a brief moment part of me actually believed that sort of cruel and misinformed behavior. Part of me actually considered that this is my fault and I am a horrible parent despite the countless hours I've managed to scrape together to scrutinize and research every therapy, every diet, every possible thing that might make his life (and subsequently mine - yes, I'll plead guilty to wanting it) a little bit easier.

Cripes, even now I can't shake some of the messages I can still see sitting in my inbox. I will say it now, hopefully to never have to say it again.

MY CHILD IS NOT YOUR CHILD. I WILL MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS AND YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO DO SO FOR ME. I AM ALLOWED TO DISAGREE. JUST BECAUSE MY SON HAS AUTISM, DOESN'T MEAN YOUR SPECIAL DIET AND SPECIAL TRAINING AND SPECIAL TORTURE TECHNIQUES ARE GOING TO CURE HIM OF SOMETHING THAT NOT ONLY CAN'T BE CURED BUT DOESN'T NEED TO BE. GO BACK TO YOUR SUPPORT LITTLE CIRCLE THAT AGREES WITH YOU AND PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

I think I'm starting to like being alone. Oy.

LOL Cats

2009-09-06T23:48:00.003-04:00

Tay and I share a common love off the web meme gone insane - lolcats. At least I think he loves them, he'll see me browsing and climb up next to me and do that weird laugh he does when he's trying to copy my laugh (I don't think he actually gets the humor the same way I do, but he sure does love to laugh when I do) and point at the screen and say "Kitty cat!" to which I pretty much analyze the picture and help him try to name items and maybe sometimes try to explain why it's funny.

I think it helps, and if nothing it's bonding time with the potential that maybe some time when he hops on the computer when I'm not around and pulls up icanhascheezburger I'll hear him laughing on his own. Some newer posted funnies we shared:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Tay loves flowers and cats - it's fun when I load up a page and he instantly uses his words (a rarity that is is thankfully becoming more common) and says "kitty! flower!"

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Made even funnier by the fact that Tay LOVES tight spaces and would quite gladly climb right in.

Just sharing smiles. :) I swear I will never post this frequently in a 24 hours period again.

Funny stories

2009-09-06T22:27:00.002-04:00

Like all of you, my life is littered with funny shit every single day. I have a four year old and a one year old. Life is funny.

One such moment came today, out of the blue as they normally do. Tay (my oldest) is not yet potty trained - it's a work in progress, but as of now we're still doing the training pants. As Medicaid covers his pull ups we use the Curity "Run Arounds" that the local hospitals use. I have no problem with this. They all (since we started using them roughly a year ago now) have Dragon Tales characters on them that I figured Tay never really took notice of it as he didn't really show any interest in Dragon Tales (he much prefers Yo Gabba Gabba & Blues Clues on Noggin or Mickey Mouse).

Today after he got up from he nap, he ran out to the living room and I turned on the TV - it happened to be on Sprout and Dragon Tales came on, to which he brightly shouted; "Dragon Tales!" and grabbed a pair of his training pants. He then ran them back to the kitchen and shouted, "Underpants!" before putting them back.

Haha. Go figure, kids got it down. I am still trying to wrap my brain around what exactly the whole thing meant to him - I like to think he was trying to show me he knew that Dragon Tales on TV was the same as the characters on his underwear.

My Family

2009-09-06T19:46:00.000-04:00

So, I’m going to give this blogging thing a serious shot – maybe it will give me a chance to randomly share my highs and lows, good and bad, you get the picture.

My life as it is right now is a bit on the stressful side. I work full time for a small business that hasn’t necessarily fared the best in the economic downturn. Don’t get me wrong, I do like my job, but some days I feel like we’re two steps away from the unemployment line due to the owners up and dumping the place or losing my mind and walking out. Toledo isn’t exactly the best place to find work.

I started back in community college this semester. It isn’t my first time going back, but I figure I’m a bit more level headed now when I was a bright-eyed twenty year old that thought there was a future for herself in theatrical production and writing of all the silly things. Currently I’m riding on a social work major – I figure I deal with a lot of social workers in my personal and work life and many of them tell me I could do their job for them, so it isn’t too terribly much of a stretch. So far I actually like school. I’m taking mostly online classes (all but one) and enjoy the flexibility of showing up to class in my undies at 2am.

I am a mother of two young boys. My oldest, Tay, just turned 4 in June, he was diagnosed with moderately functioning autism and sensory integration issues (hypo and hyper sensitive) last year. As a family, we just cope and do what we can to keep him happy and healthy and learning. He is a little bit all over the map as to the severity of his delays, for instance his gross motor skills are only about 6 months behind whereas his speech is almost nonexistent and was gauged around that of an 18 month old, but manages okay. I got him started in speech and occupational therapy right away, not to mention working with special needs preschool, and so far we have seen much more progress than when the doctor continued to tell us (despite the clear fact that SOMETHING was going on) he was just slow to pick up speech and very active like most boys – possibly could have issues with ADHD when he gets into school. Yeah, right. Because stereotypical repetitive behaviors, stimming, and echolalia are totally standard operating equipment. I think at first, for a few days, I did mourn the loss of my “perfect” little boy… but I quickly realized that he is still the absolutely beautiful, intelligent, sensitive, funny little blond haired blue eyed devil/angel he always has been… we just got a clearer understanding of why he behaves the way he does. I’ll probably talk about autism a lot here as it really does color a lot of our family’s life. And it can be flat out hysterical.

Not to be outdone, of course, is the most recent part of our family. My baby boy, Cam, just turned 1 in July. He is great at walking, running, and getting a little better at climbing and jumping every day. He is difficult for me at times because I got used to Tay’s “disfunctional” system, and now Cam seems to operate on a totally different (supposedly normal – whatever that means) plane of existance. He likes calm, quiet time. He is very social, friendly, and loves to chase his big brother and get upset when Tay doesn’t want to play with him. I think he is slowly starting to understand that Tay is different than he is and doesn’t like things in the same way. Cam doesn’t say much yet, his vocabulary is a little behind and consists mostly of “Mom” and “chicken” and “bottle” but he’s getting a handle on it. At this point I am fairly sure he is not on the spectrum, but if he is I know I’ll love him just as much and be ready for it far more than I was with his brother!

We currently live with Bob, the boys’ father. Bob and I are in the process of separating, and in many ways it is rough for me to deal with, but in many ways it is for the best. I think in the end we were not meant to be together and the love has gone out of our relationship – we just can’t get along. The arguments have just been too much over the last year, and it’s taken it’s toll on ALL of us. I am most likely going to be moving the boys back home (back to Arizona, where I grew up) at the end of the semester. I don’t plan at all on removing Bob from their life, it’s just better for everyone that we don’t live together anymore.

I suppose that pretty much gets you up to date on everything. Busy single mom. Boys, preschooler with autism, toddler raising hell, work, school, separating, moving across the freaking country. Yup, still crazy after all these years.